I found a few websites with reviews and plot/timeline breakdowns which were almost notable, but they seemed to lack something. Then I came across Mark Joseph Young’s analysis. Reading through it made for an interesting lesson in time travel, but it wasn’t until the second to last paragraph (jump to Conclusions and scroll down) that I found what I was truly looking for (some semi-spoilers):

Is it a time travel story? …it is entirely possible that this is not a portrayal of real events but of madness. It is possible that Donnie Darko imagines much of what happens, or does some of it and imagines other parts, that no jet engine hits his house and in the end after shooting someone he collapses into a catatonic state and believes he died four weeks before. It is as possible that this is a modern telling of Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (Ambrose Bierce), a story in which Donnie sees the means of his death break through the roof of his room and in the instant before it crushes him in his bed dreams his escape and all that would flow from it, only to have it end abruptly as the rope tightens around his neck.

Throughout the rest of the article, Young had treated the movie as any other time travel sci-fi, but in this one paragraph he provides as an alternate interpretation, he summed up my fears and views on the substance of the flick. If you know me well, I’m sure you’ve heard me allude numerous times to “the time I died.” Hell, I’ve even talked about it here on the weblog. One of my biggest fears concern concerns “waking up” from this life-dream I’m having moments before my death, the one I died years ago now. I suppose that sometimes, yes, I do live a life of fear. Most of the time, though, I’m able to deny that fear — those quasi-beliefs — and live my “normal” life in this tangent universe. I know I’m bad at explaining this sort of thing. (It’s why I write for free, instead of for fee.) Read Tyler Neylon’s post If you are insane for a better grip on what I’m saying.

The official Donnie Darko website is also a great resource on the movie, but requires quite a bit of time and a soundcard to appreciate (kids, don’t try this at work). It also forced me to realize that Donnie’s address is the same as my address was when I had my incident. I’ll just listen to “The Killing Moon” and forget that detail, now…

I also want to note that Mary McDonnell’s performance as Donnie’s mother in this movie was excellent. I’ll throw my vote for 2001’s Best Supporting Actress into the next wormhole I see.

Also, no matter how wretched she looks in any of her IMDb photos, Maggie Gyllenhaal is really hot when she tells Donnie to “Suck a fuck” sitting at the dinner table.

If anyone has $1.99 to trash, I sure wouldn’t mind an ebook copy of that Ambrose Bierce story, nor would I refuse a used paperback.

First, let me say that I tend to identify strongly with movies in which the central character has some sort of schitzophrenic break with reality. Memento was one. So were A Beautiful Mind, 12 Monkeys, The Ring (to some degree), The Bourne Identity, Vanilla Sky, The Game… And now, Donnie Darko. I got this movie in the mail from Netflix yesterday. Darko and The Rocky Horror Picture Show were the last to come before Netflix put my account on hold because I’m flat broke. I watched Darko tonight.

“I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad”
Fans become fans because of the identities they perceive, the samenesses, between their own lives and the characters they watch on screen or read about on pages. I’m tempted to scratch out “their own lives” and replace with “their desires” – I don’t know which is true. I’ve had my own breaks with accepted reality, and I occasionally wonder where the real truth lies. Sometimes I wonder which I want the real truth to be.

Keeping in line with the Foolish Fan Club theme, here’s tonight’s indulgence in coincidence:

Halfway through the movie, I paused to go outside and have a cigarette. I noticed the sky was unusually bright for 10:30pm, and wondered what phase the moon was in. The moon came out from the clouds then, and I saw that it was full. I also remembered that today there was a total lunar eclipse, unfortunately not visible from the Western Hemisphere.

I don’t believe in horoscopes, not of the daily kind anyway, but I give a lot of thought to coincidence. I feel that the moon is a sort of governing force with me. Full moons in particular often mark changes, transitions, important moments, or times to get up and move. I would much rather lead my life by a lunar calendar than a solar calendar, but in most cases, I’m forced to concede to the rest of the western working world and go Gregorian.

Anywho, I decided it would be nice to implement a Moon Phase sidebar on the weblog here, so I started to google (my laptop always accompanies me for a smoke). “Php cron job moon phase.” The link I clicked was this one. I figured “Hey, lets see what code other weblogs are using to do the same thing.”

The entry I opened up started “Continuing on the theme of paranoia,” which fit my mood, but the entry itself was actually about backing up her Movable Type installation. I got curious…I read the entry…I read the comments. Halfway down I look to the right and see “Watching Donnie Darko.” Okay, so the girl is interesting. I go to her about page. We have a few things in common. “Don’t get me wrong – in respects other than my interests, I am resolutely female.” I wonder what I would think of this girl if I met her.

Then my mind wanders back to the movie. Donnie Darko. Danny Dawson. “What kind of name is that? It sounds like a superhero.” “What makes you think I’m not?” (I’m paraphrasing here.) “What if you could go back and erase all the darkness?” The idea that everything can be classified on a spectrum between two extremes: Love and Fear, Good and Evil, Light and Dark, Light and Darko…

Ideas of absolute Good and Evil scare the hell out of me. The strongest existential crises I’ve experienced, the moments I call “Panic Attacks,” happen when I allow myself to believe, for a split second (or sometimes for a few split seconds, or once for about eight hours), that things are as simple as two polar opposites. The belief that things are more complex allows me to get through day-to-day life. As long as my life is more than just a simple choice between existence and non-existence, I can think; I can retain full function. If everything I did, every action I took was a choice between the two Absolute extremes, all it would take is one wrong choice and everything would be over; it would all fall to shit.

But I screw up all the time, and I’m still here. The one choice I’m glad I don’t have is the ability to go back and make changes. I make irreversible decisions everyday. I would have , I could have, I might have…

Instead, I remain.